Aslan

“Lucy woke out of the deepest sleep you can imagine, with the feeling that the voice she liked best in the world had been calling her name.”

  
For as long as I can remember, I was always drawn to something in C.S. Lewis’s writings. I could sit there, with my toes dug deep in the sand, and as the breeze kissed my skin and the sun exploded into different shades of pink, orange, and grey I would hurry to read just one more page. 

There always has been something tangibly refreshing, and honest in his writings. He comes from a place of depth, humility, wonder – and beauty. And when you are reading this mans revelations, questions, past, conversion, you can’t help but just be in awe of the depth that this man has allowed the beauty to enter him. I never doubt his genuineness. He is so real, you just want to breathe in the words you are reading and blurt them out, or perhaps whisper them to yourself in hopes of never forgetting them. You want to store them up in your heart, and share them. 

Regardless of if we always see the truth right away, or clearly- we know, we are drawn in to it, it captivates our souls. Because that’s the way our souls were made, to know truth. I suppose that’s what I’ve always loved about The Chronicles of Narnia. You watch that movie or read those books and you know there’s something deeper.. You know, in your heart that this Aslan- draws you in, captivates you, softens you, and brings you to tears. So, we come to understand our King through a Lion. We come to understand ourselves- our messy, broken selves, similar to Lucy, Edmund, Peter, and Susan. My eyes start to swell a little as Aslan gives his life for Peter. Oh Peter, Peter who strayed, and betrayed. Oh, but that is me, that is you- we are all just like Peter. But oh, how deep of a love Aslan had for him that looked deeper than his mistakes. Unconditional love. I have to remind myself every day that this is the love Jesus has for me… for my neighbor.. for all. Because my flesh often struggles with my own doubts or fears. In my human mind when I reach this point, I have to again and again position my heart to look at the cross. Not at just words, not at religion, but to look at the heart of the cross- the heart behind words, the actual action, the love of the cross. That blood covered, rugged, cross. We will fall short and mess up, and have trials and struggles but Praise be to God that His grace is sufficient because of His love poured out on that Cross. Because the truth is, without this purpose- without this Cross, we continue to fall but with no grace to pick us up and help us and save us from ourselves. So we cling to the cross, we cling to the words of scripture- the heart of God.. 

Why I enjoy writing is not because of the mere words, it’s the heart, and honesty and beauty I find in it. Because, despite my failures, humanness, good days, bad days, inconsistencies, failures, and success- I have a truth in my heart that is my Jesus- and His beauty will never fade or die out and could be written or talked about for all of eternity, and none of it would ever fully suffice to all the glory, beauty and love of Christ. I love reading from writers like C.S. Lewis because of how deeply his heart was touched, that it opens and grows my heart more. It is a beautiful thing that words can influence one another so greatly. 

In one of my favorite writings of Lewis, these words pierce my heart, and gently echo in the background of my busy mind, calming me, and bringing me back to a place of perspective and truth when anxiety clouds my heart… He writes: 

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”