“Whether often I am asked whether the grief remains as intense as when I wrote. The answer is, no. The wound is no longer raw. But it has not disappeared. That is as it should be. If he was worth loving, he is worth grieving over. Grief is existential testimony to the worth of the one loved. That worth abides. So I own my grief. I do not try to put it behind me, to get over it, to forget it. I do not try to disown it. If someone asks, “who are you, tell me about yourself,” I say- not immediately but shortly- “I am the one who lost a son.” That loss determines parts of my identity; not all of my identity, but much of it. It belongs within my story. I struggle indeed to go beyond merely owning my grief toward owning it REDEMPTIVELY. But I will not, and cannot disown it. I shall remember Eric. Lament is a part of life. A friend told me that he had given copies of Lament to all of his children. “Why did you do that?” I asked. “Because it is a love song,” he said. That took me aback. But yes, it is a love song. Every lament is a love song. Will love songs one day no longer be laments?”
– Nicholas Wolterstorff
Lent, 1997
It will soon be 10 years since we lost our beloved Hannah Leigh. The past few days I have been reflecting on her life and the journey of lament… I feel very vulnerable posting this kind of stuff, but I hope some of the things I share that I have been learning over the years, that God may use to encourage your heart also ❤ I know everyone’s journey with lament is different, but I wanted to share some of my own personal walk with it.
——– I have often wondered.. how do you plant flowers where there is sorrow
And where the gravestone is how do you wipe your tears and walk away as if it is not a part of you
But I have been learning, this isn’t at all what God is asking me to do… It is not what He has ever been asking me to do
I don’t think lament is meant to just be a simple tear
A passing season
But rather a lifetime of understanding and finding beauty through the redemption of a grace that meets us where we are at and draws us closer to our Savior who suffered more than any one of us could every imagine
He knows loss is forever a part of someone, and changes us; as it should
But He loves us too much to let the pain take us over; amidst the loss, He brings deeper love, hope, and purpose. But He does not and never will overlook it, He enters into it. He understands each persons laments in this life; He truly does, more than anyone ever could… and He walks with us every step, picking us up, when we are too weak
I’ve been learning He desires to enter into our pain with His gentle healing hand; and bring hope and love amidst our losses and suffering in life. & with the hope He gives us, we can also extend this to others who may be lamenting in a similar way
I say this all with deeper joy amidst sorrow… For where deep grief is, deep love is, and deep hope – because of Jesus
Where the loss of a life is, that hole never will be fully filled until Heaven, because that human being was a part of you- their life has such value… just because they are not here does not mean it changes how much they mean to you, if anything that love only intensifies… I think, that’s truly a beautiful thing, the most beautiful thing; that love is stronger than death
I believe to lament is to honor, to lament is to love, to lament is to heal, to lament is to remember… to lament is life… as much as life is joy, life is sorrow; for life is full of both loss and life
Amidst it all there remains a deeper joy, because of hope
There is beauty in grief in that it truly can teach us how to open our hearts to the sorrows of the world…. // “blessed are they who grieve”
So as we all put one foot in front of the other, in our own unique journeys in life
May we lift our hands, breathe in
& look to what is not seen
He is a home for our hearts.. the truest home we could ever hope for. He approaches our losses with complete gentleness, understanding, sincerity, and honesty… with His healing hand
He is truly someone who can say “I know”
Someone who has been there
And kept walking
all the way to the cross
And the whole time He did not deny His suffering
But rather He knew He came to suffer
So I think
If we can suffer for His sake
What a gift that is
More than any treasure we could ever seek
In loving memory of Hannah Leigh. ❤
We are called to be bold 